My best friend. Pro's and con's.
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Pro's:
He loves me:)
I get really happy when he calls:)
He makes me laugh! A lot!!!
He is a good kisser.
He makes me feel really special.
He thinks I'm a 9!?!?!(Attractiveness scale- he is a super harsh judge and doesn't give tens)
He is smart...ish.
He tells me everything.
He will lay off on the booze if I ask him to.
He always lets me know he is okay after partying hard.
He gets jealous:)
He is overprotective of me and always thinks I am right(with other people)
Con's:
He doesn't act like he loves me.
He doesn't return my calls.
He doesn't call for weeks sometimes.
He is too busy to talk to me for 10 minutes but can talk to a girl with a boyfriend for 2 hours?!?!
He interrupts me a lot.
He is a man-whore.
He is an asshole(self-proclaimed)
He drinks.
He does drugs sometimes.
He thinks he is always right.
I can't date anyone without him finding every fault in him.
If we dated I couldn't trust him.
He doesn't value me enough to come see me for once!
He wants me to be jealous.
Cusses like crazy.
Has no respect.
But its so much harder than that. I love him. And I am probably in love with him. And this is the most destructive relationship I have ever been in. And it's not even a legit relationship because we aren't dating! I was talking to him earlier this week. Well, first, let me discuss the background story. I hadn't heard from him in like a week. Then he calls me and tells me he is going to dump this girl who he was sleeping with and kind of dating by slowly stopping talking to her, and not returning her phone calls. So I was incredibly angry hearing that but calmly said "Like you are doing with me?" and he said nooo, I wouldn't ever do that to you, you're my best friend. So he doesn't talk to me for 2 weeks....I convinced myself we weren't friends anymore. I was sure of it. So then he randomly calls me while I was on the phone with my ex-boyfriend, chewing him out for being caught lying to a bunch of girls(I am so glad I was the one who was smart and dumped him!) and I got off the phone with Zach to talk to him. So we just talk, or he did, and I listened, and we got off the phone when he got home, and I got on facebook an hour or so later and he was on....and he chatted me and told me to look at his new profile picture....one of us snuggling on his bed. So then we got into a conversation about how I thought he was done being my friend and was convinced about it so I felt weird and he kept saying no I love you I can't imagine my life without you and all this other stuff... and then I told him I loved him more than any other guy I have ever loved and that I wasn't IN love with him but I loved him so much and he was like whatever you're in love with me and I was like whatever YOU'RE in love with ME. And he was like "I am!!!!!!!!!" and I was like no, you aren't. And he was like yes, I am. And so I went on a rant about his behavior and how that isn't love....which maybe wasn't the best thing. And then I told him I sometimes DO wonder if I am in love with him...and then he told me some more things and I finally was like Stop. I can't handle this because to me we just now started being friends again. You say things like that and it makes our friendship more than a friendship(which, I had always felt like it was.) and he was like Our friendship IS more than just a friendship and we both know it. So then I was like I can't talk to you anymore right now and he was like I love you.
And then called me the next day and then I called him last night and he was supposed to call me today but so far he hasn't. He probably will at like 2. Which, I have church tomorrow, and he wouldn't answer if I called him, but I will answer when he calls me.
So the jist of this,
He told me he loved me a while ago.
He doesn't act like it.
I love him. But I am fighting it.
Oh, he is going on a date with this girl tonight. He told me her name so I could look at her facebook pic, and then asked what I thought...I said what I always say, "she's cute" and he asked me to rank her, and I reminded him I don't rank people like that. But honestly, she isn't cute, she had a weird outfit on, and he has done better. And I have been thinking all night about how he is with her.
The reason we aren't dating is because we go to different schools and are 3 hours away.
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